Our team of expert forecasters has analyzed the cosmos and determined the following events are 99.99% likely to occur:
We've also detected a 50.01% chance of spontaneous human combustion due to excessive caffeine consumption. Please, for the love of all things sane, do not try this at home.
Sandwich Forecasts for more specific, yet just as irrelevant, predictions about your snack intake. Caffeine Alarms to alert you when your coffee machine is about to malfunction and turn you into a human torch. Primary Pauses for more information on how to effectively do nothing for 2 hours and 14 minutes.