Step 1: Wear Your Best 'I'm a Functioning Adult' Faceplate
Step 2: Ensure All Furniture is Tidied to Perfection. No Exceptions.
Step 3: Prepare a 5-Star Rating System for All Interactions
Step 4: Maintain a 3x5 Card Index for All Occurrences of 'I Told You So'
Step 5: Develop an Emergency 'Code Red' Protocol for Unforeseen Events
Step 6: Schedule Regularly Scheduled 'I'm a Functioning Adult' Meetings
Step 7: Create an 'I'm Not a Functioning Adult' Hotline for Support
Step 8: Document All Decisions with a 'I Told You So' Log
Step 9: Develop a System of Accountability for All 'I'm a Functioning Adult' Failures
Step 10: Conduct Regularly Scheduled 'I'm a Functioning Adult' Audits