Are you tired of being productive? Do you yearn for the sweet release of a guilt-free afternoon spent binge-watching cat videos? Look no further! Our comprehensive guide to procrastination techniques has got you covered.
Take a task and break it down into tiny, insurmountable tasks. This ensures you'll never actually finish it, but hey, you'll have a nice list to show for it.
Do multiple things at once! It's like the modern worker's version of trying to juggle chainsaws while reciting the alphabet. Except, you know, without the chainsaws.
Stare at the wall, listen to elevator music, or watch paint dry. These tried-and-true methods will ensure you'll never actually accomplish anything, but hey, you'll be entertained!