The Fourth and Final Prophesies of Doom

According to our highly unreliable sources, here are the latest and final predictions for the apocalypse:

1. The world will end on a Tuesday, because Mondays are for amateurs.

2. The cause will be due to an unexpected shortage of cat food, leading to widespread catastrophe.

3. The survivors will be forced to live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with discarded avocado toast and used up socks.

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