Due to unforeseen circumstances, all requests must now pass through a 3-tiered committee review process, ensuring that every decision is a carefully crafted exercise in indecision.
Step 1: The Intimidating Committee of 5
- Chairman McSquintz: A man of unyielding resolve and questionable fashion sense.
- Assistant to the Chairman: A human calculator with a penchant for spreadsheets.
- Director of Redundancy: A master of unnecessary detail and tedious explanations.
- Director of Inefficiency: A sultan of delays and bureaucratic jargon.
- Associate Director of Unnecessary Paperwork: A scribe of unending forms and tedious reports.
Step 2: The Departmental Review Board
- Director of Departmental Affairs: A master of Byzantine procedure and Byzantine procedure.
- Assistant Director of Departmental Affairs: A human Swiss Army knife with an endless supply of excuses.
- Deputy Director of Departmental Affairs: A ninja of subtle obstruction and creative stalling.
Step 3: The Ministerial Review Board (MRB)
- Minister of Red Tape: A lord of labyrinthine corridors and labyrinthine minds.
- Deputy Minister of Red Tape: A virtuoso of Byzantine procedure and Byzantine procedure.
- Aide de Camp to the Minister: A sultan of unnecessary appendices and tedious footnotes.