Protocol 4: Contact Us

We're not actually here to help you. But if you must contact us, you can try our:

Or, if you're really desperate, try sending a carrier pigeon.

But let's be clear: we're not actually here to help you.

Disclaimer

By contacting us, you agree to our terms of service, which we haven't actually written down, but just go with it.

Don't say we didn't warn you.