**Q: Why did I end up here?**
A: You're here because you're a glutton for punishment, or perhaps you're just really, really curious about the meaning of life. Either way, welcome to Phase 1, where the only way out is through.
**Q: What is Phase 1, exactly?**
A: Phase 1 is the first of 17 phases, each more confusing, more challenging, and more likely to drive you insane than the last. Think of it as a journey through the depths of bureaucratic madness. Buckle up, friend.
**Q: Can I just skip Phase 2?**
A: Ah, you think you're that kind of rebel, huh? Sorry, friend. The system is designed to prevent that sort of thing. You'll need to go through Phase 2 to get to Phase 3. But don't worry, it's not as painful as it sounds. Probably.
**Q: What's the point of all this?**
A: The point is to find the point, of course. Or, you know, to find the point where the coffee machine is. Either way, it's a real thrill-ride around here. Enjoy the ride, friend!