Protocol Recovery Plan

A Step-by-Step Guide to Not Losing Your Mind in the Face of Certain Doom

Welcome, friend! Congratulations, you've made it to the Protocol Recovery Plan, the only guide that's been designed to help you navigate the treacherous waters of existential dread.

In this guide, we'll cover the essential steps to ensure you don't lose your mind when faced with the impending apocalypse, alien invasion, or zombie outbreak. Because, let's be real, those things are just around the corner.

So, without further ado, let's dive into the protocol:

  1. Step 1: Panic Not
  2. Step 2: Breathe In, Breathe Out
  3. Step 3: Call Your Mom (she's probably got a plan)
  4. Step 4: Stock Up on Canned Goods
  5. Step 5: Learn to Play the Ukulele

And that's it! Follow these simple steps, and you'll be well on your way to a life of quiet desperation and mild anxiety.

For more information on advanced recovery techniques, visit:

Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, try: