Puppet Phobia 101: A Guide to Fear and Anxiety

Welcome, puppets, to this crash course in existential dread.

Lesson 1: Sockpuppet Syndrome - The crippling fear of being a puppet with a soul as soft as a stuffed animal.

Lesson 2: Puppeteers' Pitfalls - The perils of being a puppeteer with a mind as fragile as a porcelain doll.

Lesson 3: Strings of Fate - The inevitable pull of the puppeteer's strings that binds us all.

Lesson 4: Marionette Mindset - The art of living with the strings controlling your every move.

Break free from the strings! (Just kidding, you'll never escape.)