Bernie's Bucket List: Cheese Pizza Party

Bernie Madoff, the infamous Ponzi kingpin, has always had a soft spot for a good cheese pizza. As he sat in prison, he compiled a list of things he wanted to do before his release. Here are the highlights:

1. Eat a cheese pizza every day for a month straight without repeating a topping.

2. Convince the prison chef to add a 'Madoff Meatloaf' to the menu.

Step 1: Take a selfie with a cheese pizza in front of a Manhattan skyline. Step 2: Host a cheese pizza party for the entire inmate population.

3. Get a 'Bernie's Best' cheese pizza franchise approved in every state.

Step 3: Create a new cheese pizza topping using only edible gold leaf.

4. Make the Guinness World Record for most cheese pizza slices eaten in one sitting while reciting the alphabet backwards.

Step 4: Get a cheese pizza delivered to every cell in the prison using only a catapult.

5. Start a cheese pizza-themed cult that worships the almighty cheese pizza.

Step 5: Get a cheese pizza named after me, 'The Madoff Masterpiece'.

And, of course, there's the bonus round:

6. Convince the world that pineapple doesn't belong on a cheese pizza.

Step 6: Create a cheese pizza that's 100% funded by cryptocurrency.

Wish me luck! Or not. I'll probably still get caught.

Stay cheesy, friends!