Theremin 101: Because You Clearly Need Something to Do While in Prison

Welcome, Bernie. You and I both know you're not here to learn to play the theremin because you "enjoy the arts." Let's get straight to it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Will I ever get out of prison?
A: Ha. Probably not.

Q: Will the theremin help me escape through my prison sentence?
A: Only if you can play it well enough to hypnotize the guards.