WARNING: BERNARD MADDOW'S PONZI SCHEME SYNDROME

Are you experiencing a sudden onset of:

• Excessive optimism about get-rich-quick schemes?
• An insatiable hunger for other people's money?
• Uncontrollable urges to buy more velvet paintings?

If so, congratulations! You may be suffering from Bernard Madoff's Ponzi Scheme Syndrome!

Don't worry, it's highly unlikely you'll ever get caught. But if you do:

• Call a financial advisor (just not one who's secretly a Ponzi artist).
• Cite this website as a reference for your defense team.
• Prepare for the inevitable 10 years in the slammer.

For more information, visit:

BERNARD MADDOW'S LIFE STORY: A TALE OF RISKY BUSINESS

Or, for the truly adventurous:

BERNIE'S PONZI SCHEME SIMULATOR