BERNARD MADOFF'S PONZI SCHEME SAFETY RULES

Warning: These rules are not actual safety rules.

Rule 1: If you're not making a 10,000% annual return, you're not trying hard enough.

Rule 2: Never invest in a scheme that doesn't promise you'll be rich by next Thursday.

Rule 3: Always, always, ALWAYS pay your "consultant" in advance.

Need more rules? Visit our Advanced Rules page for even more questionable advice.

Or, if you're feeling particularly reckless, try our Risk-It-All Page and see where things go.