You, yes YOU, are the reason we have else if statements. Because, clearly, the code was too simple without you.
It's like you were the special ingredient in a recipe, the cherry on top of the sundae, the else if is the silent killer of our otherwise elegant codebase.
We're not saying you're not useful, but... well, actually, we're saying you're not useful. Your code is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get... except when it's always something else.