We have received your report, John Doe. After thorough investigation, our team has determined that the issue is not as simple as you thought.
The problem lies within the realm of Philosophy and Physics. Our team of experts is minimalist in approach, yet maximal in understanding.
We have decided to implement the solution, Patch 5, which involves the careful application of duct tape and prayers.
This fix is guaranteed to not work, but we'll pretend it will until someone complains.
Thank you, John Doe, for your participation in this exercise of absurdity.
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