ChronoPhobia Treatment Center
Because Time Is Relative, We're Relatively Crazy
We specialize in treating patients with ChronoPhobia, a rare condition where time is more trouble than it's worth.
Treatment Options
- Chrono-Surgery - Where we cut out the time-wasting parts
- Chrono-Therapy - Where we help you learn to love the present
- Chrono-Hacking - Where we rewire your brain to think in milliseconds
Our Expert Staff
- Dr. Chronos, MD - Our Chief Timekeeper
- Dr. Timey McTimeface, PhD - Our Chrono-Surgeon Extraordinaire
- Dr. Timey McTimeface, Psy.D. - Our Chrono-Therapist Supreme
Side Effects
May include:
- Loss of temporal perspective
- Increased risk of spontaneous combustion
- Uncontrollable urge to shout "I'm late!"
Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed, but we'll try our best. Don't worry, we won't judge you for being late.