Exceptions to the Refund Policy - Because Who Needs Clarity, Anyway?

We're not sorry, but we're not exactly sorry either. Our Refund Policy is a labyrinth of exceptions, designed to confuse and frustrate even the most patient of customers.

Exceptions:

• Exception 1: You're Dead - If you've passed on, we can't exactly give you a refund. Sorry.
• Exception 2: You're Not Actually Dead, But You're Not Exactly Alive Either - If you're in a state of limbo, we can't really give you a refund. Maybe.
• Exception 3: You Forgot Where You Put Your Receipts - If you can't find your receipts, we can't exactly find our refund policy. It's like that.
• Exception 4: You Tried to Read the Refund Policy, But You Got a Headache - If you've read this far, congratulations! You're now eligible for a refund... of your sanity.

Don't see your specific exception listed? That's not an exception. That's just our way of saying we're not sorry.