Breaking News: Cat Steals Nation's Cheese Supply
In a shocking turn of events, a sneaky cat has infiltrated the nation's cheese supply chain, leaving millions without their daily dose of cheddar.
The feline culprit, known only as "Whiskers," was spotted lurking in a warehouse in Wisconsin, where it had been siphoning off shipments of artisanal gouda and parmesan.
As news of the heist spread, citizens took to the streets, demanding justice for their beloved dairy products.
But don't worry, folks – Whiskers has been apprehended and is currently serving time in a maximum-security cat tower.
Stay safe, and stay cheesy, America!
| Cheese Losses | Estimated Damage | Number of Cats Involved |
|---|---|---|
| 100% of national cheddar supply | $1,000,000,000,000 | 7 |
| 50% of parmesan supply | $500,000,000,000 | 5 |
| 75% of gouda supply | $750,000,000,000 | 3 |
