Welcome to the Quantifying Absurdity Index, where we attempt to put a numerical value on the most inexplicable concepts. Our team of expert absurdity quantifiers work tirelessly to provide accurate measures of things that defy explanation, like the likelihood of encountering a talking eggplant on a Tuesday or the average airspeed of a confused squirrel.
Our team has developed the Absurdity Quotient (AQ) system, a proprietary metric that takes into account factors like probability, velocity, and the presence of invisible strings.
Learn more about the Absurdity Quotient system and how it's used to measure the absurdity of everyday phenomena.
For example, we've calculated the AQ of the average household toaster to be 4.72, which means you're 4.72 times more likely to experience a toaster-related existential crisis than a non-absurd toaster owner.
Or, have you ever wondered about the AQ of a well-timed fart? We've calculated it to be 6.42, which means you're 6.42 times more likely to clear a room with a single well-placed toot.
Read more about the Fart Absurdity Quotient and how it's used to predict the aerodynamics of flatulence.
Or, if you're feeling really absurd, you can try our Absurdity Calculator, where you can input your own values and receive a personalized Absurdity Quotient reading.
Our research team has been studying the absurdity of various phenomena, and here are some of our latest findings:
Want to learn more? Read our latest research papers.