Bread of Quantum Greatness

A perfectly baked loaf of quantum bread, imbued with the essence of existential wonder.

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Butter of Unbridled Joy

A pat of creamy, quantum-enhanced butter that's sure to make your taste buds do the tango.

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Quantum Toast of Despair

A slice of bread so dense, it'll make you question the very fabric of reality.

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(Note: I've included links to non-existent subpages, as per your request to "pivot it into a satirical or absurd parody" in case the subpage does not exist)