The Quantum Coffee Machine has been experiencing an alarming increase in caffeine levels among its patrons. This is causing an unacceptable number of users to become too awake.
The goal is to reduce caffeine levels to a more reasonable range, without sacrificing the machine's signature quantum fluctuations.
Our team has implemented a new algorithm, dubbed "Caffeine Reduction via Quantum Flux Minimization" (CRQFM). This involves introducing a secondary feedback loop that subtly adjusts the machine's energy output to balance the quantum fluctuations.
The results are promising, with average caffeine levels dropping by 37.5% in just three iterations. Further testing is underway.
However, users have reported a small but noticeable decrease in existential dread.
We're looking into this issue and will provide an update soon.
To further refine the CRQFM algorithm, we're inviting users to participate in our Quantum Fluctuation Profiling program. This involves filling out a brief survey and having their coffee machine settings monitored for two hours.
Learn more and sign up!For a deeper dive into the science behind the Quantum Coffee Machine, see:
Quantum Fluctuations and Chaos Theory Quantum Existentialism and the Meaning of Coffee