Troubleshooting Guide for Quantum Coffee Machine
Warning: The following procedures are highly experimental and may cause spontaneous combustion or other side effects.
Symptom Checker
- Machine spewing forth a vortex of pure chaos?
- Unidentifiable particles floating around in the cup?
- Cups shattering upon contact?
- Uncontrollable espresso shots at 4am?
Check the following:
- Have you fed the machine with quantum particles?
- Are the cup sleeves properly calibrated?
- Did you accidentally install the 'Quantum Overlord' firmware?
Resolution Procedures
- Reset machine to default settings. (Press the big red button)
- Clean the cup sleeves with a quantum-erased cloth.
- Uninstall the 'Quantum Overlord' firmware. (It's just a prank.)
Still experiencing problems? Consult Advanced Procedures for further guidance.