Quantum Decoherence Treatment

This treatment is for those suffering from Quantum Decoherence, a rare and debilitating condition where the observer's presence causes the system to collapse.

You have been diagnosed with Quantum Decoherence and are now in the care of our expert team of quantum physicists.

Symptoms:

• Collapse of wave functions
• Many-worlds interpretation of symptoms
• Quantum fluctuations in consciousness

Treatment Options:

• Many-worlds interpretation therapy
• Quantum fluctuation reduction
• Entanglement disentanglement

Please note that these treatments are highly experimental and not scientifically proven. Side effects may include: increased existential dread, spontaneous combustion, and/or uncontrolled laughter.

Consult our expert team of quantum physicists for more information.