Common Symptoms:
- Reality seems to bend and warp around you in unexpected ways.
- You may experience brief, unexplained appearances of impossible things (e.g., a talking eggplant)
- Quantum probability distributions start making sense in your sleep
- Your sense of time becomes fluid, allowing you to relive memories and rewatch cat videos
Possible Causes:
The following are just a few of the possible reasons you're experiencing quantum fluctuations:
1. Eating too much quantum-entangled sushi
2. Inhaling too much helium-3 while meditating
3. Your cat is secretly a miniature black hole
Or, you know, it could just be something else entirely.