Insurance Coverage
Our quantum fluctuation therapy insurance policy covers all types of quantum fluctuation related incidents. This includes but not limited to:
- Quantum fluctuations causing spontaneous human combustion
- Unstable wormhole damage to property
- Suddenly appearing quantum entanglements with inanimate objects
- Quantum fluctuations causing temporary loss of sanity
For a small additional fee, you can also purchase our Quantum Fluctuation Insurance Plus package, which includes:
- Priority access to our quantum crisis hotline
- Complimentary quantum probability assessments
- 20% off all quantum-related medical bills
Don't wait until the next quantum fluctuation to get covered! Contact us today for a quote or to sign up for our Quantum Fluctuation Insurance policy!
Policy Number: QFT-001 Effective Date: 2022-01-01 Expiration Date: 2023-12-31