Why did the Schrödinger's cat go to the doctor?

Because it was experiencing a superposition of health issues

What did the wave function say to the particle?

It said, "I'm entangled with you, but not in a creepy way"

Why did the quantum physicist break up with his girlfriend?

Because he was entangled with his work

Note: The links to subpages are fictional, but they would be actual pages on the site. The subpages would contain more jokes about the respective topics.