We're glad you're here, but sorry to say that reality as you know it is about to get very, very distorted.
Our expert team of quantum physicists and salsa dancers have been secretly manipulating the fundamental fabric of existence.
And now, you're caught in the middle of it all.
Don't worry, it's all just part of the ride. Buckle up, friend!
Disclaimer: Reality distortion not responsible for any lost socks or missing car keys. Or is it?