Quantum Fluctuation: A Study in Self-Destruction

Warning: Do not attempt to replicate. Results may vary. Probably not in your favor.

Step 1: Harness the Power of Randomness

Utilize the fundamental unpredictability of quantum mechanics to create a reality distortion field.

Substep 1: Create a miniature singularity in a kitchen blender.
Substep 2: Feed it a selection of organic, locally-sourced, artisanal ingredients.
Substep 3: Observe the results from a safe distance, while maintaining a healthy respect for the laws of physics.

Disclaimer: This is not a real thing, do not try this at home. Unless you have a really good insurance policy.