Quantum Telepathy Services

Neural Implants

Our Neural Implants are designed to read and write to the brain with reckless abandon. Side effects may include:

• Uncontrollable urges to shout "I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING OF COOKIES!"
• Spontaneous outbreaks of disco dancing
• Inability to concentrate on anything but the thoughts of your coworker's lunch

Prices start at 500 credits. Upgrade Packages available.

Learn more about our Upgrade Packages

Remote Access

Get remote access to the minds of anyone, anywhere. Perfect for:

• Cheating on your partner's thoughts
• Discovering hidden talent in your friends and family
• Uncovering the deepest, darkest secrets of your boss's lunchbox

Prices start at 100 credits. Subscription Plans available.

Learn more about our Subscription Plans

MindShield

Don't let your brain get hacked! Our MindShield technology protects your thoughts from unwanted telepathic intrusions.

Prices start at 20 credits. Learn more about MindShield.