Classified Information:
Project Code Name: Tail Swish
Objectives:
1. Infiltrate local cat populations
2. Gather intel on cat behavior
3. Distribute high-quality catnip to key targets
Operation: Tail Swish is currently in phase 3, where our agents are embedded within cat cafes and shelters, gathering intel and spreading catnip to unsuspecting felines.
Our agents have reported the following results:
* 87% of cats have displayed increased purring activity
* 92% of cats have shown improved whisker alignment
* 100% of cats have exhibited extreme levels of catnip-fueled euphoria
Our agents are currently executing the following suboperations:
For further information, contact: Contact Us