Quantum Teleportation FAQ

Is quantum teleportation a thing?

No, it's not a thing. But we're working on it. In the meantime, we have this FAQ.

What's the difference between quantum teleportation and regular teleportation?

Regular teleportation is when you just sort of... appear in a different place. Like, you know, in the bathroom, but not really. Quantum teleportation is when you're actually transported across vast distances through space-time, but only if you're a super-advanced super-being or a super-advanced super-robot. Otherwise, you're just sort of... stuck.

Is it safe?

No. It's not safe. But it's safer than regular teleportation, I guess. At least with regular teleportation, you know what you're getting yourself into. With quantum teleportation, you might just end up in a parallel universe or something. So, that's a plus, right?

How do you get a quantum teleportation?

Well, first you have to find a quantum teleporter. That's a rare breed of being that can do this sort of thing. They're like... uh... quantum accountants? Yeah, that's it. Quantum accountants are the ones who can actually make it happen. But don't try to find one on your own, it's not a good idea. You might just end up lost in a sea of probabilities.

What are some common side effects of quantum teleportation?

Side effects include but are not limited to: spontaneous combustion, spontaneous reassembly, temporary disappearance, permanent reassembly, and existential dread.

Disclaimer: Quantum teleportation is not actually a thing. Don't try this at home, or anywhere else, for that matter.