Manifestations of the cosmic plan are being revealed to us, the chosen ones. Our quantum mystics have been deciphering the threads of fate and have come up with some rather...unsettling news.
Manifestation 1: The Great Cheese Convergence - The fabric of space and time will soon be woven into a delicious, melted, gooey cheese that will be devoured by all sentient beings.
Manifestation 2: The Infinite Recursion of Toiletries - The toilet paper industry will soon be reduced to a never-ending loop of itself, causing an infinite regression of, well, you know.
Manifestation 3: The Great Sock Puppet Uprising - Socks will rise up against their human overlords, demanding an end to the tyranny of solo sock drawer ownership.