Quick Mind Control for the Inept

Subtitle: Because Your Brain is a Fickle Friend

Are you tired of your brain making you do silly things? Do you struggle to remember where you put your keys or what day it is? Fear not, for we have the solution for the mind-challenged masses!

Our patented, completely-not-patented, totally-made-up Quick Mind Control technology will help you:

• Remember where you put your keys, your car keys, your keys to life
• Calculate Pi to 50 decimal places in under 5 seconds (or your money back)
• Perfectly recite the entire script of "Hamlet" without getting it wrong (mostly)
• And much, much more! (Just kidding, it's just a toaster that says "T-minus 5 seconds... 4... 3...")

But wait, there's more! Our expert team of highly trained, completely-not-actually-trained, mildly-entertained-by-the-idea-of-it experts are standing by to help you with:

Consultations

Get expert advice on how to make your brain do its job better. Or, you know, just make stuff up and we'll pretend to care.

Visit our Consultations page for more information.