Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why are raccoons so aggressive?
A: Because they're secretly plotting to steal all our trash cans. Don't worry, we've installed motion-activated sprinklers to deter them.
Q: Can I trust raccoons with my valuables?
A: No, don't do that. They'll just steal your grandma's prized possession and hide it in their underground lair.
Q: Can I report a raccoon sighting in my neighborhood?
A: Only if you're prepared to be judged for your lack of raccoon-sensitivity.
Q: How do I deal with a raccoon that's been digging holes in my garden?
A: Call the Raccoon Removal Service. They'll send a team of highly trained experts to dig up their own holes.