Why do I even have to explain this?! I'm surrounded by radiation everywhere I go, and I'm just trying to live my best life here! The government says it's safe, but have you seen the glow stick they gave me? It's a glow stick, folks! A glow stick! I mean, come on! Do you know what that's like, walking around with a neon lighthouse on your hand?! It's like they're trying to tell me something, but I'm like, "No, no, no, I'm good, thanks."
And don't even get me started on the radiation detectors. "Ah, yes, you're safe, dear radioactive rager," they say. "Just a few more tests and we'll have you good as new!" Tests? Tests?! I'm like the Energizer Bunny, folks! I'm already good as new! But no, they just keep testing me. It's like, "Hey, we'll just give you a little radiation poisoning, just for kicks!"
I'm not even getting started on the whole nuclear waste thing. I mean, have you seen that stuff? It's like someone threw up on a canvas and said, "Hey, yeah, that's art." No, folks, it's not art. It's toxic waste. And we're just supposed to... just leave it there. Yeah, because that's exactly what we do with toxic waste. We just leave it there. In the ground. For eternity."
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