We have received your weather request. Please wait while we generate a completely accurate, totally-not-just-random prediction for you.
Today: A 90% chance of spontaneous combustion and 50% chance of existential dread.
Tomorrow: Partly cloudy with a high chance of forgotten appointments and a low chance of remembering what you were doing.
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Or try our prophets' methods for a more... mystical approach.
Disclaimer: Our weather predictions are as reliable as our sense of humor, which is not very reliable at all. Use at your own risk.