Subscribe via Snail Mail - Official Rat Subscription Service

Subscribe to our exclusive, utterly useless, and completely unreliable snail mail service. Our team of highly trained (not really) snail mail specialists will deliver your subscription directly to your doorstep... eventually.

Don't bother with those boring old digital subscriptions. Choose the slow and steady (get it?) approach with our snail mail subscriptions.

Subscription benefits include:

• Unpredictable delivery times (may be up to several weeks)
• High risk of subscription loss or damage due to snail predation
• A 50% chance of subscription being delivered in a completely different location

Read the fine print and agree to the subscription terms