Technique 1: The Art of Procrastination

Also known as the ancient art of doing absolutely nothing productive, this technique involves dedicating an entire day to scrolling through memes, binge-watching cat videos, and contemplating the meaning of life. It's a skill that takes years to master, but the payoff is worth it.

Here's a step-by-step guide to mastering the art of procrastination:

• Technique 2: The Art of Binge-Reading
• Technique 3: The Lost Art of Daydreaming
• Technique 4: The Art of Pretending to Read
• Technique 5: The Art of Reading Between the Lines (Literally)

Remember: the key to mastering this technique is to avoid actual work at all costs.