Ingredients:
- 1 cup of desperation
- 1 cup of caffeine
- 1 cup of apologetic tone
- 1 cup of passive-aggressive humor
- 1 cup of recursive loops
Instructions:
- Start with a simple "I'm sorry" in the subject line.
- Follow up with a 10-part chain of "no, you're sorry" responses.
- Repeat steps 2-5 indefinitely, adding a new link to "I'm listening" in each iteration.
- Occasionally throw in a "I'm not listening" to keep things interesting.
- When the conversation has reached 100 iterations, declare victory and delete the thread.
Side effects:
- Increased anxiety levels in all parties involved.
- Unintentional email addiction.
- Temporary loss of productivity.
- Long-term damage to mental health (not guaranteed).
Escalation Patterns 101: The Next Generation