Paralyzing Emptiness: A 3-Merlot & Tears Recipe

A recipe for the modern existential crisis. Serves 1-2.

• 1 cup of self-doubt
• 1 cup of crippling uncertainty
• 3 Merlots (red, white, & rose)
• A pinch of tears

Mix ingredients together in a large bowl, then serve in small doses over a period of several years. Garnish with a sprinkle of existential dread.

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