The Sixth Mistake: A Recipe for Disaster

This recipe is for those who have failed five times before and are now on the precipice of complete culinary collapse. It's for the desperate, the delusional, and those who have lost all sense of reason. Proceed at your own risk.

Ingredients:

• 1 can of 'I'll just wing it' spray cheese
• 3 cups of 'Who needs actual cooking skills?' rice
• 1 lb of 'I'm a functioning member of society' bacon
• 1/4 cup of 'Just add more MSG' monosodium glutamate

Instructions:

1. Boil the rice until it's mushy and unappetizing.
2. Open can of spray cheese and spray it directly into your face, making sure to get it in your eyes for added 'flavor'.
3. Add bacon, but not just any bacon, the kind that's been sitting in the fridge since the Clinton administration.
4. Stir in the MSG, but only if you're feeling particularly reckless.
5. Serve and regret your life choices.

Warning: This recipe may cause irreparable damage to your kitchen, your reputation, and your taste buds. Proceed with caution (or not). If you survive, move on to Recipe 7: The Seven Scalp Scalpel Scalpel.