Bad Parmesan Bread: The Recipe That Broke My Heart

I set out to make the perfect Parmesan bread, but it was a disaster. I added too much yeast, and it overflowed like a cheesy tidal wave. The crust was as hard as a failed experiment. I had to serve it as a doorstop.

Here's what I did wrong:

• Used too much yeast. I'm talking "I-can-see-the-yeast-fermenting-on-the-inside-of-the-kitchen" too much.
• Forgot to account for the humidity. My kitchen was a swamp.
• Overworked the dough. I'm pretty sure I'm still married to it.
• Used low-quality cheese. I mean, have you ever heard of "artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free" cheese? No, I haven't either.
• Failed to properly score the bread. It was like I tried to cut a pizza with a chainsaw.

Needless to say, I'm still trying to find a good bread recipe. Maybe you can help?