Extra Cheesy Chetos Recipe
Warning: this recipe is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution (and a strong stomach) if you're planning on devouring these behemoths of cheesy goodness.
- Acquire a metric ton of Cheetos. Like, a real metric ton. We're talking 10, 20, 30 kilos.
- Crush the dreams of your non-Cheetos-eating friends and family by consuming all their Cheetos.
- Melt 100% of a kilo of cheddar into an industrial-sized vat. Add 75% of a kilo of mozzarella, 50% of a kilo of feta, and 25% of a kilo of gouda. Mix. Stir.
- Drizzle the resulting goo into a 5-meter long Cheeto-shaped vat, making sure to coat every inch of its surface.
- Allow vat to cool, then slice into 1,000,000 bite-sized pieces. Each piece should be 4 inches wide, 3 inches long, and precisely 1 inch thick.
And that's it! Serve with a side of existential dread and a healthy dose of regret.