Rule 1: Wear Bright Colors Wear bright colors to express your individuality and make a statement. Don't settle for boring black and white, unless you're a boring person.
Rule 2: Use Thick Black Borders Thick black borders make everything more interesting. It's like a warning sign for your eyes.
Rule 3: Avoid Blurred Shadows Blurred shadows are for amateurs. We're going for a more dramatic effect here.
Rule 4: Read Comic Sans Comic Sans is the perfect font for serious documents. Don't @ me.
See also: Optional Reading