Experiment 47: Rectaliciousness

In this experiment, we've taken the concept of rectaliciousness to its logical extreme. A team of highly trained, highly caffeinated researchers spent 37 days in a windowless room, surrounded by nothing but rows upon rows of perfectly ripe pineapples.

Their findings:

1. A 37% increase in rectal happiness when paired with a side of pineapple upside-down cake
2. A 92% decrease in productivity when forced to watch an endless loop of accounting software tutorials
3. A 100% increase in existential dread when the air conditioning breaks down