Area Codes: Because Who Needs Friends When You Have Numbers, Right?

Phone numbers are like area codes: they're all about boundaries and borders. Except, you know, they're not. They're actually just a series of digits that make you wonder why you ever bothered.

• 1: The "I'm a cool cat" area code. You're not cool. You just live in the 1. Don't worry, it's not like anyone will notice.
• 2: The "I'm a rebel" area code. Except, you're not. You just like to complain about the government and drink a lot of Mountain Dew.
• 3: The "I'm a hipster" area code. Yeah, right. You're basically just a minimalist with a fixie and a man-bun.
• 4: The "I'm a party animal" area code. No, you're not. You just live in a college town and have a keg in your basement.
• 5: The "I'm a free spirit" area code. Ha! You're just a hippie with a timeshare in a dude ranch.
• 6: prophets and losses, 7: the number of the beast
• 8: prophets and gains, 9: the number of the beast (just kidding, it's just a phone number)
• 0: The "I'm a ghost" area code. You're not, but it's a nice sentiment.

Other Area Codes:

• Zip Codes: Because Who Needs Friends When You Have Maps, Right?
• IBAN Numbers: International Business As Usual
• ISO 639-1: Because Languages are Hard to Learn, Man