Don't even think about it. We don't do fancy. We're the anti-fancy, the anti-fine, the anti-anything-but.
Think neon pink, lime green, sunshine yellow. Don't make us choose between "I'm a morning person" and "I'm a night person". We're all day, all night, all the time.
4px minimum. Don't even think about it. We're not playing games with your eyes, we're redefining them.
No curves, no angles, no "finesse". We'll take our fonts like a good ol' fashioned fist to the face.
We're not bound by the laws of reason or good taste. We'll make something up and hope you don't notice.
We'll throw links at you until you get the point. Subpages, sub-subpages, it's all just a big happy mess.
Clever, dry, and fully committed. If you can't handle the truth, well, that's not our problem.
We'll make it up, we'll make it loud, we'll make it with a side of "honesty is overrated".