The Art of Equivocating: A Study in Unnecessary Complexity

Are you tired of making decisions that are straightforward, uncomplicated, and actually useful? Do you yearn for the thrill of indecision and the agony of analysis paralysis? Look no further than Equivocating, the art of turning the simple into the impossibly convoluted.

Equivocating Techniques

Our experts have distilled the art of equivocating into six simple steps:

1. Identify three alternatives for every option.
2. Equate each alternative with 27 sub-options, each with 17 sub-sub-options.
3. Repeat steps one and two at least 47 times.
4. Take a 3-day break to contemplate the existential implications.
5. Return to the drawing board and equivocate some more.
6. Repeat steps 4 through 6 ad infinitum.

Our Team of Expert Equivocators

Meet our team of highly qualified, highly caffeinated experts:

• Dr. Emily P. Bottomsworth - Our resident expert in Over-Analysis.
• Dr. Boo Hoo - Our specialist in Procrustean Decision-Making.
• Professor Equivocato - Our head of Research and Development.