Today's Special Report: The Unremarkable Truth
According to completely unverified sources, the universe is 42% less interesting than you think.
Scientists are baffled as to why this is, but experts in the field of "Not-Much-At-All" are working tirelessly to find the answer.
Stay tuned for further updates, or don't. We're all going to forget what we just said anyway.
Click here for more unremarkable truth!