Relaxation Techniques

Are you tired of the constant anxiety? Do you need to unwind after that last existential crisis? Well, you're in luck! Our relaxation techniques are sure to soothe your frazzled nerves and calm your racing thoughts. Or, at the very least, provide a temporary distraction from the crushing despair of existence.

Mindfulness Meditation: Because who needs actual mindfulness when you can just sit quietly and think about nothing?

Controlled Breathing: A technique that's almost as controlled as a toddler's tantrum.

Yoga for Robots: Because robots get stressed too, and they don't have therapists to talk to.

And for the truly desperate:

Hamster Wheel of Doom: A surefire way to forget your problems, but not really.

Or just stick around and read some more of our bad jokes to take your mind off things.